Week 6: May 18-24

This was a pretty good week. The babies didn't have any major problems. On Tuesday (day 37), Elise had a slight decel, but, fortunately, I didn't have to stay on the monitor for too long before my doctor decided it was safe to come off. Both Anne-Claire and Elise had wondeful ultrasounds all week. Their fluid levels were on target and their cord dopplers remained stable. Their biophysical profiles coulnd't have been better. On Friday (day 40) I started have some regular contractions, so the on-call doctor suggested my cervix get checked and if everything was fine, my nurse could take me off the monitor. I knew they were just Braxton-Hicks and not going to do anything significant. The contractions returned on Saturday (day 41) night and became more frequent, so theon-call doctor had my nurse check my cervix and sure enough it was nice and closed! Then on Sunday (day 42), Elise had a 3 1/2 minute decel into the 60s that earned me more time on the monitor. When Dr. D-P came in and did my ultrasound, she said the girls looked wonderful and she wanted to review the tracing around 8pm to see what was going on. Unfortunately, she came back 3 hours later and said that there had been slight dips throughout the afternoon, so she was keeping me on the monitor until further notice. I slept sitting up because that seems to be the only way I can get any rest and keep the babies on the monitors. On Monday (week 7, day 43) morning I woke hopeful that the constant monitoring would soon be over. Unfortunately, by the time Dr. D-P arrived Elise had had another decel, so she felt I need to stay on the monitor for longer. I was really disappointed because Chris and the girls were spending the day with me and being on the monitor makes our visits much more difficult. They were going to go ahead and leave but Chris saw how disappointed I was and decided to stay. I'm so glad. Being on the monitor continuously is hard enough but doing it alone is even harder.

June 2: The above was written on Monday, May 25. Little did I know that the very next day my girls would be born and the significance my notes from Sunday and Monday would have.

Blast from the past

Friday night Chris had a hard time sleeping, so he went downstairs and looked through old photos. He found a few of us right around the time we got engaged, November 6, 1998, that made him a bit nostalgic. I thought I'd post one of them that was taken over the Christmas holidays when we went to Colorado with several friends. We might have been out celebrating my 22nd birthday--I really don't remember--but it was 10 years ago! We were babies!

Tonight, we were talking about those days when we were young and foolish. I told Chris I'm glad those days are over. I'm so happy with our life here in Indiana with Emma and Charlotte, and soon to be adding, Anne-Claire and Elise. We are so incredibly blessed! We've come a long way, have gained a few pounds, and have been (are going through) some big challenges, but through it all our love for one another has grown, our faith has increased, and our life has been sweetened by four silly girls. (It's a foregone conclusion that Anne-Claire and Elise will be as silly as Emma and Charlotte). LOL

Week 5: May 11-17

Day 29

Today marked the end of 4 weeks in the hospital. I remember as the day approached for me to be admitted, I thought, "I just need to get through April." Then as my 28th week approached and April ended, I thought, "I just need to get through May." Now here I am, half-way through the month of May. I'm so thankful that I've made it through these 4 weeks in the hospital and the 2 months since my amnioreduction. Chris, Emma, Charlotte, Anne-Claire, Elise, and I would not be here if not for God's mercy and faithfulness. We owe Him all the glory for these weeks and for the lives of our babies.

It also goes without saying that we could not have survived the emotional roller coaster of these past 2 months, were it not for the support of our wonderful friends and church family. The other day I was at the support group for long-term hospitalized moms run by two nurses here at the hospital. One nurse who has been here for 20 years or more said she has never seen a patient with the kind of support I have. It delights my soul to have the love of Christ seen by others as a result of my weakness.

Baby Update: Both girls got scores of 8 out of 8 on their biophysical profiles. Unfortunately, during my afternoon monitoring session, Elise had a decel that caused my doctor to put me on continuous monitoring. She's going to leave me on throughout the night, which makes sleeping difficult. Elise has done this so many times, I'm pretty confident that nothing major is going on, but as my doctor reminded me, this is why I'm here in the hospital--to be monitored closely in case something does happen that requires a quick delivery.

Day 30

30 weeks today!! Praise God! Even though it was a hard day because I was on the monitor all night last night and most of today, I am so thankful to be here celebrating this 30 week milestone. Dr. Dungy-Poythress, Dr. Skannal, Melissa, and Angela (all from Maternal Fetal Medicine) came by this afternoon to celebrate with me. The whole office signed a card for me, and they brought me two lovely-smelling candles, which I can't light because it's against hospital rules. The best part of their surprise, however, was being released from continuous monitoring! I was also treated to a quick visit from my friend, Jen, on her way up to see her girls in the NICU. She brought me a great celebration balloon with the caption: "30...the party continues." She also gave me a reuseable water bottle filled with peanut M&Ms--yummy! She added the M&Ms because a friend with twins claims they made a huge difference in the sizes of her babies. I think it's definitely worth a shot!

Day 31

I had an emotional day today because Chris and the girls were supposed to visit today but had to cancel because of the thunderstorms that came through. I was really disappointed because I'm missing them like crazy. I know that it was not a good idea for them to come in this weather but still sad. I did get a visit from my friend, Christy, who delivered fraternal twins at 34 weeks gestation about a week before I was admitted. It was sweet to see and hold a little baby again. I even got to give Benjamin his bottle. It made me very ready to snuggle my own babies. Speaking of my own babies, both Anne-Claire and Elise continue doing well. Praise God!

Day 32

Today was exciting because our family was invited to participate in a photo shoot for a new program at Maternal Fetal Medicine for mothers-to-be who are expecting multiples. I was a little hesitant to agree to be photographed in my present condition and size, but ultimately, figured it wouldn't be so bad. Chris and the girls walked in during the shoot, so my doctor asked if Emma and Charlotte could be in some of the shots. They also took some with Chris, which were fun to do with all 6 of us. In one picture, the photographer asked Emma how many babies were in Mommy's belly, and she said "two" but put up three fingers. The look on my face was hilarious. I hope that we get some of the pictures to keep because they were pretty cute. I have been asked several times by family in Texas for an updated pic of my baby belly. Chris kept forgetting to bring the camera but did bring it today, so here is a shot of me and the belly at 30 weeks.




We also got a couple of cute shots of Emma and Charlotte while they were here.




Day 33

I had very few visitors this week, but today had tons! My pastors, Tim and Dave, came back for a visit this week, which was so nice. I love getting to see friends from home! Julie also came by after work today and brought me yummy dinner from On the Border, chocolate, and a fun magazine. While she was here, more friends, Rob and Suzanne, also came by. I never knew how much I would appreciate having adult conversation. I love hearing what is going on in my friends' lives while I'm in here--the hospital is something of a time warp. For example, I can't believe how many babies have been born/adopted at CGS since I was admitted! My babies are still doing great--they continue to get 8 out of 8 on their biophysical profiles and have been doing well during their monitoring sessions. I realized today that I might not have too much longer before Anne-Claire and Elise arrive, so I worked hard all day on the first blanket I started knitting soon after being admitted and finished it!! Now I can get busy on the 2nd one, so the babies can each have a blanket made by me while I've waited in the hospital for their birth.


Days 34 & 35


Chris and the girls came to visit this weekend, and we had a great time. Chris brought lunch and dinner from home, which I loved because, as mentioned before, I MISS food from home A LOT! It is so wonderful to have them here. I told Chris today it almost feels like I'm at home when we can just relax and enjoy being together. Anne-Claire and Elise have been doing so well, Dr. D-P told my nurses to leave us alone so that we could spend time together without me having to get on the monitor. Soooo nice! I even got to nap with the girls again, which is sweeter than words. We also went out to the patio and sat in the sunshine while the girls played and Chris read Sherlock Holmes to me. Here are some pics of the girls on the patio.

Week 4: May 4-10

Day 22

It is hard to believe I've made three weeks in the hospital. I praise God for His mercy because the time really has gone by quickly. There is not much new to report except that today Elise's cord had reverse flow, which means instead of being forward flowing or absent, the flow was actually backing up and going the wrong way. Forward is good, absent is not so good, reverse is bad. My doc wasn't overly concerned b/c the cord was between Elise's legs, and the reverse flow was very intermittent. The rest of the ultrasound was very positive--both girls got good biophysical reports.


This morning I began reading Practical Theology for Women: How Knowing God Makes a Difference in our Daily Lives by Wendy Alsup, lent to me by Amanda Ewer. I only got through the preface and the first two chapters but the Lord really spoke to me through Wendy's words. She writes about some trials that she experienced that had grown her faith, which reminded me a lot of our lives right now. The best part of experiencing the challenges of having a difficult pregancy, a husband looking for work, and no place to live come August 1, is being able to testify to God's goodness and provision. In the book, Wendy describes a time when God provided for them and writes, "...humbled not just by what God had done but also by how he had done it. We caught a glimpse of the splendor of God, his sovereign control over the details of life, and his intimate awareness of our lives."


Our family has been praying for a job for Chris for years, knowing that He would continue to provide for our needs just as He's always done. It has been easy to trust God, for the most part because we've always had something come through. This past February our faith was truly tested when the job that Chris had applied for and in which we'd placed all our hope (wrongly certainly) had been cancelled. At the moment when our one good option appeared to be off the table, we came to realize what trusting God is really all about. While it was more difficult to believe, we continued to pray that God would provide for our family and that He would be glorified. Well, this Monday, He showed us His glory when Anderson University made an actual offer to Chris. He will continue to be paid an adjunct faculty rate but will have a full-time faculty teaching load, which does mean more pay. They've also offered a housing allowance and money to cover a moving truck. Because of the full-time teaching load, he'll also be eligible for insurance. When God took away the job the first time, he showed us that our hope should only be in Him. So, our faith increased not only because our hope was put in Christ alone but also because I learned how to stay out of the process. Let me explain--it is my natural tendency to try to do God's job for Him. In other words, I might start job hunting for Chris and encouraging him to apply for things that are not right for him or even going out and getting a job myself, thus manipulating the situation. This time, and with great effort and help from Him, I stayed out of things and let God work, thankful that God gave me the faith necessary to trust Him in this way.


So, while we will be sad beyond words to leave Bloomington, our home for seven years, and most of all our friends and church family, we know that the move to Anderson is what God has for us at this time in our lives. Please be in prayer for the details of the move especially with me in the hospital and join with us in praising God for providing for our family as only He can. One of my biggest prayer requests regarding the move is that we will find a church home where Truth is preached from the Word and where the church family will adopt us in love like Church of the Good Shepherd.


Day 23


Today, unfortunately, the flow in Elise's cord was reversed more persistently and in a spot that was not being visibly pinched by any limbs. Both Anne-Claire and Elise had good fluid levels and movement, so we're just watching the situation to make sure it doesn't progress. In addition, Anne-Claire had some minor but consistent decels, and Elise had a pretty significant decel this morning. Because of the combination of deceleration and reverse flow, I was put on continuous monitoring for at least 24 hours. My doctor said it's possible that these are early signs that my placenta is having trouble keeping up with Elise's needs, so she decided to go ahead and give me a booster of steriods that she was going to order for next week.


The best part of my day was seeing Emma and Charlotte who came up with Anna Chasteen and her kids. I'm so grateful for all the sweet ladies who've brought my girls up to see me. Getting to snuggle them and watch and hear them play brightens my day to no end! I hated to see them go but the separation was pretty easy on the girls, Praise God.


Because of the continuous monitoring, I'm up for a difficult night. Both babies were great all day with no trouble keeping them on the monitor until 11pm. From that point on, my nurse had considerable difficulty even finding Elise. After about three hours of hunting, another nurse was in my room trying to help. She made the comment that Elise would need a spanking at birth for causing so much trouble, and my nurse said she'd be first in line. I responded by revealing that we came very close to losing Elise, and that I'm afraid it might be extra hard to spank her at all and not spoil her rotten. While I don't really think we'll treat Elise differently (at least I pray we don't), it did let the nurses know that I didn't appreciate their frustration over her movement. Throughout the night, my nurse repeatedly said it must be hard for me to undergo all the pulling and pushing and sleeplessness. I didn't but wanted to tell her that there is no end to what a mother will do for her children. I thanked God for the opportunity to suffer for my babies and asked for His strength during my weakness.


Day 24


After finally getting to sleep around 5:30am, my nurse came in at 7:30am to waken me because I had apparently begun contracting. She said I was having 7 in an hour in the beginning and they'd increased to every 5 minutes. She took away my breakfast and wouldn't allow me to take a shower--huge bummer! My doctor arrived shortly with the ultrasound equipment and was pleased to see that everything with the babies looks good. Biophysicals looked great for both, and Elise's cord flow was no longer reversed. It had a little intermittent absent flow but nothing worse than it has been in the past. Dr. D-P was reassured enough by the U/S and the good tracing on the monitor that she took me off the continuous baby monitor. I am still on the contraction monitor, though, which is no big deal. She does not think the contractions are pre-labor because there has been no change to my cervix. If I begin to have more than 6 an hour or anything else changes, then she'll reassess the situation and may give me something to stop the contractions. For now, things are looking good!


Day 25


Today I had four visitors. Barbara and Henry Lehr came this morning and were able to be here for my daily ultrasound. Both babies had good biophysicals and dopplers. It was so nice to get to talk to Barbara in person after three weeks here in the hospital. I only wish she'd been able to stay longer. Then, this afternoon, I was surprised with a visit from two of my pastors: Tim Bayly and Dave Curell. It was very encouraging to see them both. Dave told me about yesterday when Emma and Charlotte were at his and Annie's house. We laughed about Charlotte walking around with one hand slipped into her overalls while swinging the other arm in a Napoleanic manner. He also described how Charlotte (who doesn't know Dave beyond seeing him on Sunday mornings) had lifted her arms to him and laid her head on his shoulder as he sat with her. Such a sweet baby! Then he told me about Emma's response when Chris arrived to pick them up. After running into Chris's arms, she burst into tears and cried for about a minute in a way that suggested an awareness of her loss of her mama over the past few weeks. He was impressed by how quickly she processed her situation and recovered from her grief. Within moments she was running around with Charlotte like a maniac. The story affected me more than I first realized. It hit me that as well as Emma has been dealing with our separation and being with different caregivers each day, she is beginning to show the stress of it all. The ease with which the girls have handled everything has made being here in the hospital a lot more manageable. The knowledge that Emma is having a harder time now is difficult to bear.


Day 26


Today was a pretty rough day. I started having some really awful indigestion over the past couple of days and so far none of the antacids I've tried have done any good. I was up all last night and then it got worse today. Everything I ate was painful. I've also been missing Chris and the girls a lot--I haven't seen the girls since Tuesday. They were supposed to come today but Chris has been so swamped with grading finals and getting his grades in that he's going to wait until tomorrow to come up. I was really disappointed when I learned they wouldn't be coming up today. Chris also had another example of the stress getting to Emma. Today she told Chris she was tired of going to different houses every day and just wanted to go home and take a nap. It breaks my heart to hear that she's having a hard time. I spent a lot of today crying and praying for the Lord to help me keep my focus on the babies and giving them as much time as possible in my womb.


The babies were measured for growth today, and I'm embarrassed to admit, part of me was a little disappointed to not get news that this time might soon be over. Anne-Claire measured 3lbs 8oz (73%) and Elise is 2lbs 3oz (still >3%). Their discordancy increased to 39% because Anne-Claire's rate of growth increased while Elise's stayed exactly the same. My doctor was excited by the results and said we'd just continue the course. While I know they need more time in my womb, the days are getting harder and harder to get through. I have to remind myself that the longer they stay inside me, the shorter our NICU stay will hopefully be. I definitely need prayer right now. Days like this make it obvious that I can't do this on my own strength.


This evening I got to hang out with our new friends in the NICU and it did me a lot of good. To see their tiny little girls encouraged me to remember again why I'm here. I have to continue taking this one day at a time and to try to remember that the babies are my top priority right now. As hard as it is to think of Emma and Charlotte suffering because I'm here away from them, I know that they too will benefit from this refining they're going through. I'm looking forward to seeing them tomorrow.


Day 27


I'm feeling better today both physically and emotionally. I talked to Barbara on the phone and she reminded me that God is not just my God but He's also Emma and Charlotte's God and His plan for us includes them. He is building their faith as they witness and experience these challenges we're facing. She also shared with me that God is using Emma and Charlotte to teach Alice about compassion and loving others above oneself. I am so thankful for friends who can help me see beyond my own discomfort or grief to the eternal.


My ultrasound today was good again. I asked my doctor about whether the positive trend in the babies could be projected to the future. She said she thought we have every reason to think that I'll make it from here (almost 30 weeks) to 32 weeks and maybe farther. We also talked about when I might be able to go back to Bloomington. She said at 31 weeks she'll talk to Dr. Labban (my OB) about his confidence in being able to monitor the babies in Bloomington. She's also going to speak to the neonatologist here about the special care nursery in B-ton and when they might be capable of handling any issues our babies might have at birth. All that means that I could be back in Bloomington in a matter of a couple of weeks if the babies don't arrive before then. Yet another example of how God can bring me out of a low time (the past few days) to such encouragement.


The best part of today was seeing my big girls and my husband. We didn't do anything special but it was incredibly sweet to be able to snuggle and kiss my family. Emma kept asking me if I loved her--It makes me wonder if she's uncertain of my love because of our separation. Please continue to pray for us--especially Emma and Charlotte--that they will not think that I'm gone because they've done something or because I don't love them. Aunt Julie also came up to visit and graciously went and picked up dinner for us from On the Border--delicious!


Day 28

Mother's Day--a day to celebrate mothers and motherhood. It was wonderful to have my family here with me. Emma painted a beautiful flower pot and planted some flowers just for me. Chris, Emma, and Charlotte all made me great cards, which were extra special because they were hand-made. My favorite part of today was getting a chance to snuggle with my big girls as we napped together this afternoon. We used to nap together all the time and I've missed those cuddly moments. It felt almost normal again.

We also had fun outside on the patio. The girls climbed up on some large flat rocks in the garden and sang for us. It was too cute! Even though Charlotte doesn't sing with words, she hums and moves her arms almost like she's conducting or something. Of course, Emma (aka Melodie, Ariel's daughter) cracked us up as she sang a song made up on the fly with all the passion and flair of a real diva. We clapped for them, shouted "Bravo!" and enjoyed the singing over and over again.

The worst part of today was, of course, when Chris and the girls had to leave. Emma was quite upset; although, a large part of her distress was hearing that the Ewer's were coming and she wasn't going to be here to see them. As hard as it is to say good-bye, I have to admit knowing more visitors were coming did make it easier on me. Shortly after they left, the Ewers and half of our small group showed up in my room. It was so nice to see them, hear about their lives, and read the Word and pray together--a great way to end my fourth week in the hospital.

Week 3 (April 27-May 3)

Day 15

My day began early with monitoring at 4:45am. Thankfully, the babies stayed on the monitor without too much difficulty, so I didn't have to be awake for too long. I was able to sleep a little before my doctor came in to do my ultrasound. Elise's cord flow showed some intermittent resistance but Dr. D-P said that it really wasn't any worse than it has been. The way Elise was laying made it necessary to capture the dopplers of her cord close to the insertion site, which always has more resistance than other areas. She still felt reassured that the babies are doing quite well.

To make my day even brighter, Kim Johnson brought Emma and Charlotte to see me this afternoon and brought me a wonderful home-cooked meal! Chris also came by on his way home from Anderson, which made my day even better. It delights my heart to watch the girls playing and to be able to snuggle with them. While it is always hard to see them go, I was able to look forward to seeing the girls again tomorrow.

This evening my IV heplock was really uncomfortable, so my nurse said she could take it out and redo it on my other arm. It was time to draw blood for the type and screen that I have to have every 72 hours. A sample of my blood is given to the blood bank so they can make sure they have blood to donate to me if necessary. The sample is only good for 72 hours, so I have to have it drawn that often as well. My nurse could draw the blood from my IV site so I wouldn't have to be stuck twice. Everything went fine except for the pain of the stick--I'll never get used to it--and the fact that she place the IV in a very awkward spot on my left wrist. It was quite uncomfortable to even move my fingers much less my wrist. I had a hard time knitting or even opening the bathroom door with it. I asked my nurse about it and she said that the position of the IV was causing the discomfort and she could move it if I wanted. I decided to wait until morning when I could ask Dr. D-P about it. I'm hoping she'll say I can just have it removed completely.

During the time my IV was being placed, my nurse was also trying to find Elise on the monitor. She moved the monitor around for an hour without being able to find Elise's heartbeat. I wasn't worried because I could clearly hear her moving around. After an hour of trying, my nurse finally called another nurse for help. I've had Jen before and she's really sweet. She's expecting her 2nd daughter on July 17, Emma's birthday. Jen was able to find Elise right away! Unfortunately, I had to stay on the monitor for another hour to get a good tracing of Elise even though we already had an hour of Anne-Claire.

Before my day ended, my nurse wanted to get another full tracing of the girls, which meant that I to go back on the monitor at 11pm. I was really tired but able to go to sleep not far past midnight, looking forward to seeing Emma and Charlotte again!

Day 16

28 weeks!!! We reached a HUGE milestone today that we didn't know if we'd make or not. Praise God!! Making it to 28 weeks greatly increases the survival rate of our babies. My doctor was very pleased that we've made it this far. She was also encouraged by my ultrasound. She said she wanted to repeat my glucose test in a week and repeat steroid injections a week after that. I was encouraged that she's making plans for the next few weeks and not overly concerned that we might not make it to 30 weeks. She also said we won't measure the babies this Friday but are going to wait until the following Friday to give the girls more time to grow. She is confident that they are doing well enough that we don't need to repeat their growth measurements any earlier. While I'm disappointed to not see how much they've grown, I'm happy to know my doctor feels so good about their progress. I also asked my doctor about my IV and she said we can remove it!! Yay!!

I feel SOOO much better without the IV in anymore. Now I can cuddle the girls without having to worry about the IV catching on anything. Now I just hope that nothing happens that requires the IV to be put back in.

This afternoon Janet Howell brought the girls to see me and we had another great afternoon. I snuggled with both girls for a long time until Anna Chasteen and her kids came by for a visit and my girls decided it was time to get down to play. Emma and Elissa had great fun dressing up in the outfits Emma brought from home. Eliot and Charlotte also had fun chasing each other and playing with the big girls. Anna also brought me some of her home-cooking--so appreciated! Unfortunately, it came time for them all to leave. Emma was really sad and didn't want to let go of me. I really felt badly for Janet who had to take her out of my arms. I cried for a while, prayed for Emma, and called Chris. Talking to him made me feel better. I can't wait to see them all again.

Later I called another mom who had twins about a month ago who'd had TTTS. My doctor gave me her name and number. It turned out she was up in the NICU with her girls, so she came down to see me. It was so nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what we've been going through and a huge encouragement to know we too can have a positive outcome. Her girls were born at 30 weeks and weighed a little over 3 lbs and a little under 2 lbs. They are doing very well now, weighing almost 5 lbs and just over 3 lbs. She invited me up to see the girls, and I jumped at the opportunity. They looked so tiny, but to Jen and Brian they look huge after one month. It is hard for me to imagine our girls being that tiny and probably smaller, but now I have a picture of what they might look like. It was amazing to see Jen cuddling and nursing her baby and to believe that one day soon I'll be holding and nursing Anne-Claire and Elise.

Day 17

This morning I had to get up early because I had an ECHO appointment at 8am. The exam went well--the cardiologist said the girls' hearts were still doing fine. Great news! I also had my regular ultrasound and everything looked good. Elise had some intermittent absent flow in her cord but it was largely due to the cord being looped around her ankle. I asked my doctor if she was concerned about Elise's cord, and she said it's not uncommon for cords to get wrapped around babies in different ways. I am reassured that the babies are being monitored so closely, though, in case something were to go wrong.

This afternoon I had lots of visitors, which made my day! Another mother of TTTS survivors came by today and brought her adorably chubby 6 month old boys. The boys were great! Her donor baby was still visibly smaller than the recipient, but they're both healthy and wonderful. I got to hold the donor, and it helped me to imagine Elise being that big.

Mary Lee Bayly brought Emma and Charlotte to see me today, which made five days in a row! I was so glad to see them because Charlotte has been having trouble with her ears and I needed to cuddle her a little. It is wonderful to get to see my girls, and Chris came by on his way home from Anderson, so we were all together. It makes the week so much easier to be with my family, even for just a few hours. The girls left without any tears because we got webcams today and they knew we were going to get to see one another during our nightly phone call. When they called tonight it was amazing to see all of them while we were talking. The girls kept putting their faces really close to the screen--I guess to get closer to me--so I saw a lot of their foreheads. It was nice, though, to see their little faces and their kisses being blown to me. I love the webcam!

I have one more monitoring session before bed. Hopefully, it will go off without a hitch!

Day 18

Today was a good day. The ultrasound of the babies was really good again. My doctor continues to be pleased with how things are going. I'm sort of bummed that we're not going to do measurements tomorrow but encouraged that she feels comfortable waiting another week for them. Amanda Ewer and Sebra Baker came to visit today and brought Emma and Charlotte along with Anna, Amos, and Elijah. It was fun to see how much Anna is talking now and how big Amos and Elijah have gotten. Of course, I couldn't have been more delighted to see my big girls. I was pretty sad when they had to leave because they weren't able to stay very long and I know I won't see them again until Saturday. After shedding a few tears and praying once again for strength, I tried to focus on holding our babies one day soon. That image helps me to remember why I'm here and why being away from my family is worth it.

This evening Elise had a pretty major decel but once her heart rate came back up she was fine the rest of the time I was on the monitor. My nurse called the on-call doctor, and thankfully, I'm not going on continuous monitoring but will just continue with the normal schedule of every four hours. I'm praying that she won't have anymore decels and we'll have a good night. Now that we've made it to 28 weeks, the benefits of getting to 30 or beyond have become more clear and I hope we can get there. I thought it would be easier now that we're at 28 weeks, but the old fears continue to creep up whenever something like Elise's deceleration occurs. I don't want anyone to think that I don't still need prayer for continued faith and strength. Please continue praying for us.

Day 19

This morning I got to leave my room to go to my doctor's office for my ultrasound. While I enjoy getting out of my room, for some reason, I seem to get sick every time I go to the office. In the middle of the ultrasound, I began to feel lightheaded, then my head started to swim, my vision got cloudy, and my ears began ringing. I told Crystal, the sonographer, and she sat me up. That didn't seem to work--I still felt like I was going to pass out and get sick. I asked her if I could have my blood pressure checked because I felt like it was really low. She was afraid to leave me alone. She brought me the trash can and helped me out of my robe because I also got very hot. Slowly I began to feel better, my vision cleared and the heat left. I remembered that my blood pressure was low this morning, 85/55, and lying flat on my back combined with already low pressure was a recipe for fainting. Crystal was able to complete the ultrasound with me sitting up. Whew! After all that, I was pleased that the babies continue to look really good. Their dopplers and biophysicals were all good-no changes. She also checked the length of my cervix because I've been having a few more contractions, and it was nice and long. I told her that I've never had trouble keeping my cervix closed. :)

My doctor, though pleased with the ultrasound results, decided to put me on continuous monitoring for the afternoon because of the decels Elise has been having. She had at least one each session yesterday and this morning. My doctor wanted to get a longer stretch of time to see exactly how often the decels are happening. I was on the monitor from noon until 4:30pm, and in that time Elise did have a few decels. Dr. D-P was not concerned, though. She said the decels were not lasting very long and Elise's heartrate always came right back up. Apparently, all of this is pretty normal for 28 weekers.

Chris was able to stop by this afternoon on his way home from Anderson and stayed to hear what Dr. D-P had to report. It was great to see him and to get to talk. We're used to spending a lot of time together, so this time apart has been hard on both of us. I do think that this experience has made our marriage stronger and I'm thankful for that. In the beginning of the TTTS rollercoaster, it became apparent how easily a crisis can pull a couple apart. I praise God for allowing our marriage to grow despite the extra strain we're under.

A cute story from Aunt Julie: On her way to drop Emma off at Auntie Barbara's
Julie: I'm going to deliver you to Auntie Barbara's
Emma: Like a pizza?
Julie: Well, yes, I'm going to drop you off at Auntie Barbara's house.
Emma: Can we pretend I'm a pizza?
Julie: What kind of pizza would you be?
Emma: Pepperoni, of course.
So, Julie delivered an Emma pepperoni and cheese pizza to Auntie Barbara.

Day 20

The babies and I had a good day with no surprises. I was thrilled to have Chris and the girls here to spend the day with me. Emma and Charlotte had fun playing "Simon Says." It was quite cute to watch Charlotte mimicking Emma's movements. She's getting so big these days. I hated to see them leave but Julie had come by so I wasn't left alone for a little while longer. Elise had some decels in my last monitoring session but nothing that differed from what she's been doing and were not concerning to my doctor.

Day 21

Today has been pretty lonely. Chris and the girls stayed home so they could go to church. My ultrasound went well--My doctor said she was very excited by how well the girls are doing and how far we've gotten. She was going to order another glucose tolerance test for tomorrow, but thankfully, she heard my nurse mention needing to draw blood for my 72-hour type and screen and said I could do the glucose test today to avoid being stuck two days in a row. The glucose test is not fun because the Glucola is absolutely awful but a necessary evil to rule out gestational diabetes. I don't foresee any problem with the test but it has to be done. The blood draw was particularly painful--I don't think I'll ever get used to being stuck with needles--because the nurse had to use a larger than usual needle to get four vials of blood. Fortunately, I don't think I bruised, so that's positive. Tomorrow marks three weeks in the hospital!

Contact info in the hospital

I am at Community Hospital North in Indianapolis: http://www.ecommunity.com/ob/. My phone number is 317.621.0201 and my address is 7150 Clear Vista Drive, Indianapolis, IN 46256. I'm in room 5103. If you're able to visit, information regarding parking and directions is at: http://www.ecommunity.com/north/information/index.aspx?pg=9999.

I do not have access to Facebook while in the hospital here, so I can read Facebook messages that come to my email but can't reply.

Visits, calls, letters, and emails are much appreciated!

A word about the help we're receiving

All of my nurses have asked me the same question each time they learn I have two daughters at home and no family in Indiana: "Whose taking care of them?" My answer is always the same: "My husband is home with them each night, and our wonderful church family and other dear friends take care of them during the day." I love to be able to tell people from outside Bloomington about the abundance of love our family is shown each and every day and how my church takes the command to bear one another's burdens seriously.

When I was first put on bedrest at home, the ladies in my home fellowship group put their heads together and came up with a system where others in church could sign up to help. My friend, Amanda, set up a calendar on Google that allows ladies to sign up for childcare and meals. I had ladies coming to my house Monday-Friday in four-hour shifts to care for me and the girls and bringing meals every evening. Another sweet woman had already been coming to my house on Friday mornings to clean, and my sweet friend, Julie, began taking over laundry and carpool duties. We followed this schedule for about two weeks before I was hospitalized in Indianapolis. Since then, the routine has changed slightly. Instead of ladies coming to our house, Emma and Charlotte go to the houses of those who've signed up for a particular day. Several ladies have brought Emma and Charlotte up to see me, which means the world to me. I'm looking forward to a visit this afternoon!

I am confident that my family is being cared for and provided for while I'm away. I praise God for giving me such a generous church family and such selfless friends. While I wish that we were closer to Texas and family, I know that God is taking care of us here in Indiana through the arms and hands of friends that have become family to us. I am also thankful for all the prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf literally across the country. I just got an email this morning from the mother of one of Chris's students who has been praying for us in Ohio. God is using our situation to draw many to Himself in prayer. I believe that He is being glorified through this trial we face and that makes everything worthwhile.