Getting a new perspective, Wednesday, April 1

As I wrote my thoughts and feelings last night, I was in a very dark place. My dear friend, Barbara, noticed I was online and being that she was also up praying for us, she called me around 2am. She, through the Holy Spirit, talked with me about my fears and anxieties and spoke truth to me about God's goodness and care for us. After our conversation I was finally able to get some sleep. Early the next morning, I received a phone call from Dr. Julian De Lia, who pioneered the laser surgery that the doctors in Cincinnati want us to do. Dr. De Lia had spoken to me a couple of times and his warmth and care of our family came through on the phone each time. I told him everything that had happened in Cincy and he was quite at a loss. He couldn't understand why the doctors would be so interested in moving to the extreme measure of surgery based on one index when everything else looked so good. He encouraged me to get a 2nd opinion and made a call to a friend in Columbus, Ohio who is also a specialist in treating TTTS. The most important thing Dr. De Lia said to me, however, was that he would be praying for us and that he really does care for our girls and for us.

Within minutes of speaking to Dr. De Lia, a nurse from Columbus, OH called me. I told her about all our latest tests and she told me that I'd been able to give her all the information she needed. She said that in Columbus they use the Tei index as one piece of the larger picture. Based on everything else I'd told her about the girls' fluid, sizes, dopplers, etc., she said they looked really good. She said that where our girls are now is where they hope to get their patients. She was able to get us an appointment for the next day with Dr. O'Shaughnessy. We were excited to have the opportunity to get another doctor's opinion and hoped that it would be helpful and not muddy the waters. I spent the rest of the day coordinating getting all our records to Columbus.

In the afternoon, I was scheduled to get the 2nd dose of steroids to help the girls begin producing surfactant, which allows us to breathe normal air. I had to go to the Bloomington hospital for the injection. I thought it would be a quick trip up to L&D, so Chris and Charlotte waited in the car while Emma and I went up. Before giving me the injection the nurse checked my vitals and discovered that my heart rate was 141 bpm. She said that was quite elevated and that if we couldn't get it down, she'd have to admit me. So, Emma and I sat in a darkened room for 2 hours while the nurse checked me every 15 minutes to no avail. My heartrate was not going down. I had no way of contacting Chris in the car so security was going to have to go find him. Fortunately, he'd gotten sufficiently irritated by the wait to come inside to investigate. He figured with all the waiting that we usually have to do, that I was still waiting to get the injection. When he walked into the room and saw them hooking me up to monitors, I think it really scared him. They kept me for several more hours and finally released me at 10pm with my assurance that I would return if anything worsened. We didn't want to stay there b/c of our scheduled appointment in Columbus the next day.

Once at home, I called the doctors in Cincinnati who had prescribed procardia, a blood pressure medication that will help Anne-Claire's heart. Unfortunately, it can also cause me to have an elevated heart rate. The nurse told me to skip my morning dose and she'd call after talking to the docs. We went to bed hopeful again that tomorrow our desire to wait on surgery or avoid it altogether would be confirmed. I realized once again, that through God's strength and faithfulness, I can come out of a very dark time with faith and hope. Having experienced those moments gives me confidence that we'll continue to weather this challenging time not by our own strength, but His.