Christmas 2008

Our family Christmas traditions begin the Friday after Thanksgiving every year as we attend the city of Bloomington's Canopy of Lights Ceremony. This year we began the evening dining, according to tradition, at Cafe Pizzeria. Uncle Nick and our friends, Julie and the Chasteen family, joined us, and we made quite a crowd. Elissa and Emma serenaded the table with their rendition of "Jingle Bells," and Charlotte and Eliot fought over fruit puffs (just kidding).

After dinner we made our way to the square in the bitter cold to wait for the lights. The Bloomington City Band plays Christmas carols, Polka Dot the clown leads us in singing, and Santa rides into town. Santa counts down the crowd: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...swoosh...the entire downtown area is lit up with thousands of lights. A canopy of lights is created by stringing lights from the courthouse to the buildings that create the town square. It truly is a sight!

After the square was lit, we made our way into Fountain Square Mall to see Santa. Julie went ahead of us to save us a good spot in line because the girls were already pretty tired. Charlotte was not immediately taken with Santa but did stop crying long enough for a picture. The entire mall is decorated with different winter scenes, so we spent a few minutes getting some pics with the woodland creatures and snow.

The next day is the Holiday Farmer's Market, which has also become a part of our family tradition. The girls can see and pet real reindeer, decorate Christmas cookies, and enjoy the world famous Harvey Phillips Tuba Santas. Emma had to take her coat off to dance to the Tuba Santas' music because it was obvious that she couldn't dance properly with her coat on. Charlotte slept through much of the singing but woke to catch a few carols.

Another family tradition is buying and decorating the Christmas tree. This year we have a beautiful scotch pine that we decorated together with ornaments from past and present: some Chris and I collected before the girls joined our family and now a few that Emma has made at school. We put the tree upstairs in our sitting area this year, so the girls enjoyed reading Christmas stories, singing carols, and hearing advent devotionals sitting beneath the tree each night before bed.

This year we attended Candles and Carols at Anderson University. The girls had a great time listening to the beautiful music and dancing in the lobby. I'm sure if Chris gets the job at Anderson, this will become a family tradition to cherish.

On Christmas Eve we each opened one present before attending the Christmas Eve service at our church. It was a lesson in patience for Emma who, of course, did not want to stop with just one present. We almost didn't make it to the service because the Volvo was dead in the driveway when we got ready to leave. Chris was able to push it out into the street so he could get the Honda out of the garage. I steered as he pushed it as far as he could back up the drive. We managed to arrive at church only about 20 minutes late, but I'm so glad we decided to go despite the car fiasco. It is important to remember why we're celebrating Christmas at all--to remind us of our Savior coming to Earth as a little tiny baby. After the service, our friend, David, came over to help Chris push the car the rest of the way into the garage. I guess we'll be battery shopping on the 26th. I wonder if they'll be on sale!

We completed our Christmas Eve traditions with hot cocoa, Twas the Night Before Christmas, and mama and daddy staying up till the wee hours wrapping gifts. Chris put Emma's new princess bike together and completed the arduous task of removing the girls' babies from their packaging so we could place them in strollers. I wrapped most of the gifts until I was worn out and Chris took over. Here's how I wrap: carefully measure how much the package will need, cut it just so, and meticulously tape it closed. Here's how Chris wraps: cut the paper hoping it will be enough for the package, when it appears there is too much paper, fold it up rather than cut it away and tape it down with more tape than would ever be necessary. Okay. So, I'm exaggerating a tad, but it was pretty funny to see him wrestling with paper, tape, and bows. It was also so nice to know that he loves me enough to try and the girls enough to care. After the wrapping was complete, we needed a little Santa magic to get the presents under the tree without waking Emma and spoiling the surprise. Wonder of wonders, the child who has not stayed in her own bed through the entire night in weeks slept through the noise of our setting out the gjfts. She even slept through Charlotte waking up at 7am. She finally scampered to our bed around 7:30am but wasn't interested in checking out the tree even after I assured her it was morning and it was Christmas. She finally decided to get up around 8:30am.

Both girls were excited to see the spread of gifts beneath the tree. Emma got a bike and helmet, a camera, and play food. Charlotte got a shopping basket with food, a laptop, and a phone. Both girls got babies, strollers, tiaras, and tutus. Chris got sweaters, Scene It Seinfeld edition, and a dresser valet. I got a locket, books, sweaters, and a coat. Oh, for my Facebook status I mentioned that all I wanted for Christmas was for Emma to be healthy. Well, after being diagnosed with a double ear infection and getting a shot, our five days of high fevers finally ended, and Emma is feeling healthy again.

So far, it's been a wonderful day. Chris made a delicious lunch of pork tenderloin and roasted vegetables, balsamic asparagus, and salad with chocolate pie for dessert. Yumm!! He cooked AND cleaned the kitchen so I can rest. He's the best husband! Charlotte fell asleep in her high chair, so we're off to nap now and then later we're going to the Lehrs to celebrate with them.

Merry Christmas!

First ultrasound

Around 6 weeks, I called my midwife's office to cancel my annual exam and to schedule my first prenatal appointment. I was planning on waiting until after January 1 for the appointment, so I wouldn't have to pay towards my deductible in 2008 and then have to start over in 2009. Liz likes to wait until 10-12 weeks gestation anyway because the odds of hearing the heartbeat are better that way. I was surprised, then, when Kim, the scheduler, said, "We like to schedule an early ultrasound around 8 weeks." I'd had both girls with this practice and they'd never offered an early U/S before, but, hey, I'd love to see my baby. Let's do it. I decided I better make the appointment when Chris could go because, God forbid, I would be devastated to get bad news and be alone. We were set for December 11, one month past the day I discovered I was expecting.

During the next few weeks, I began feeling more and more nauseous. My belly seemed to pop out overnight. I even had to start wearing maternity pants because my regular ones were too uncomfortable. I also started feeling ligament pain, which usually occurs late in pregnancy as the uterus is really stretched to its limits. When I mentioned the ligament pain to a friend, she joked, "Maybe it's twins." Oh, sure. Twins. Ha Ha! But the idea slowly began to grow on me. If I have twins I won't have to worry about deciding VBAC or another c-section. It'll be a no-brainer to have another c-section with no guilt or grief. And, I'll get two babies for one surgery. I've been worrying how I would ever get to four or five children having surgeries each time. Twins? It'll never happen. No way. No how.

A few nights before my appointment, Chris, the girls and I were laying in bed discussing baby names. Emma contributed Lion King and Emma as options. We asked her whether she wanted a girl or a boy to which she replied we were getting a girl and a boy. "Nooo," Chris laughed, "there better not be."

We arrived at the appointment on time with both girls in tow. We were going to get to see our baby. The tech reminded me this would be a vaginal scan--yuck--but yes, I knew what to expect. I got undressed and she returned. The first words out of her mouth when she began the exam were, "Oh, my." Chris: "Is that what I think it is?" Tech: "Two babies." Me: "No way. It can't be. Are you serious? Two babies. There are two babies! Praise God! Two babies. Are they okay?" Chris: silence. Emma: silence. Me: disbelief and giddiness. Two babies. Two heartbeats. Two sacs. Wow!




The tech printed some pictures for us and left to tell Liz. I had to call Mom. She was stunned to say the least. Chris left with the girls so they wouldn't have to sit through the rest of my appointment. I called Anna Chasteen while waiting. She was the first one to jokingly suggest the possibility. She couldn't believe it.

Liz came in and was pretty sober, warning me of all the dangers of a multiple pregnancy: steroid injection at 28 weeks to ensure mature lungs, bed rest likely by the end of April, and no chance of traveling to Derek and Mariel's wedding or Justin and Jordan's graduation in May. I left feeling deflated and anxious. I called Barbara next who joined in my giddiness. She was very encouraging and made me feel tons better. Chris called his dad at work and got, "You're kidding." "No," Chris said, "that's not something I'd joke about." His mom was subbing that day, but he called her cell anyway and got the exact same response that his dad had given. Later in the day I called Anna Talcott who is due the day before me and has with every pregnancy thought two babies for one pregnancy would be great. She couldn't believe it had actually happened to us. I then updated my Facebook status to "Michelle is overjoyed to be expecting Baby #3...and Baby #4!" and the word was out. We're having twins!

Many have asked if twins run in my family, and the answer is yes. My maternal grandma was a twin, though her brother didn't make it. She also delivered twins, a boy and girl, who both died at birth or soon after. My mom's oldest sister has twins, a cousin has twin girls, and my sister has twin boys. I wonder if Emma's prediction of a girl and a boy is true. As she aptly told someone the other day, "We'll take whatever God gives us!"

Yes, we feel very overwhelmed but are so excited by God's providence. I really do get two babies for the price of one surgery. These babies are such a blessing. We can't wait to meet them and discover what joys they will bring to our family.

Seven tests...

Monday, November 10: Mom had just left the day before after being here for a week to help us through Emma's surgery. Julie came by around 8:45am to pick up Charlotte and take her to school for me because I didn't think Emma could handle taking Charlotte and not being able to stay herself. Test #1: Sometime around 9:30am, I decide to go ahead and take a pregnancy test because I'm a little late and when it's negative I'll know that I can expect my dear friend to arrive any day. Months ago Barbara had given me a gag gift that consisted of several Dollar Store pregnancy tests, which only cost, you guessed it, $1. The reason they're $1 is because you have to pee in a cup and then use a dropper (provided of course) to carefully place four drops of urine on the test. I'd used them to discover Charlotte was on the way, so I was confident (or so I thought) in their reliability. I couldn't believe my eyes--one dark line (that means the test is working) and one really faint line (that means I need to take another test).

Test #2: another really, really faint 2nd line. No way! Ok, be calm, they're Dollar Store tests. How reliable can they be? Oh, here's a Clear Blue Easy digital test deep under the sink left over from when Charlotte was discovered and we didn't really quite trust the tests that only cost $1.

Test #3: Pregnant. In clear English. Pregnant. How am I going to tell Chris? We were supposed to wait until he had a full-time, real income job. I'm excited but also really nervous about telling Chris. Not because he's going to be mad or unhappy but because I know the burden another child will be on him. He's trying desperately to finish his PhD and looking for work and providing for his family with one or sometimes two part-time jobs. He's driving 2 hours, one-way, three days a week. How am I going to tell him?

Julie brings lunch and Charlotte home. I want to tell somebody but don't dare tell her before telling my husband. Emma's feeling pretty good so we make a Target run. I need to buy another test. The Clear Blue Easy test had expired in October so maybe it's not as reliable as it was a month ago. Charlotte chews on the box in the basket. Nice. Later that evening, Chris comes home and I realize the test is not in the Target bag. He sees me rummaging for something in the bag. "What are you looking for?" "Oh, nothing. Just something didn't make it into my bag." "What?" "Just something." "What?" "A pregnancy test." "A what?" I quickly explain the events of the morning. Chris clings to my theory that two of the tests only cost $1 and one of them was expired. We have to get another test. Wait--I think I have a couple more Dollar Store tests. Let me try those. Tests #4 and #5: only 1 line = negative. Disappointment. I do really want this baby. I can't not be pregnant. Load up the girls, drive to Target, buy a box with 2 tests.

Test #6: No. Now I'm really disappointed. And Chris is too. What does this mean? Am I or am I not? I decide to wait until morning to take the final test. The instructions say the best time to take them is first thing in the morning when HCG levels are the highest. I hardly sleep a wink. I really want this baby that I've only known about a few hours.

Test #7: 6:30am: Yes! Yay!! Surely, this means that I am really pregnant with baby #3. It took 7 tests but a majority of them were positive. My sweet husband sees the positive test on the counter and joins me with the girls in bed. "I love you, new mama." Everything is going to be okay. We've always been taken care of. We're having another baby!

The hardest thing we've ever done

Our sweet Emma inherited a condition called VUR (vesicoureteral reflux), otherwise known as bladder reflux. Her urine backs up into her kidneys, which can cause lots of problems if left untreated. We first discovered she had VUR when she had her third UTI at around 10 months old. Her pediatrician recommended we have Emma tested because children shouldn't have that many UTIs at such a young age. The test involves inserting a catheter, filling the bladder up with dye, and then taking X-rays while the child urinates. Sound horrific? It is. The test uncovered stage 3 VUR on the right side and a bifurcated ureter, in other words she has two ureters on the right side when she should have one.

We met with the head of pediatric urology at Riley Children's Hospital who explained that most children outgrow VUR by the age of 5; although, those with two ureters are less likely to do so. The recommended course of action was to treat Emma medically, which meant giving her daily antibiotics to prevent the recurrence of another UTI. So, for three years we fought her every day to take her medicine and underwent the trauma of the horrible test annually. Finally, in August of this year we learned that once again there had been no change in Emma's condition. We could continue treating her medically, retest her again next year, and see if another year made a difference or we could move on to surgery. The urologist did not believe Emma's chances of outgrowing the VUR were likely, so we made the hard decision to operate.

Silly Emma, the day before surgery

We had about 2 1/2 months to stew about the upcoming surgery, which was scheduled for November 4, Election Day. Unfortunately, we had very little information about what to expect, which left much to the imagination. One of the hardest things was that the hospital doesn't notify you of your surgery time until the day before you're scheduled, making it very hard to plan. We also applied for the Ronald McDonald House but were told that we wouldn't know if we were in until the day of surgery. A nurse called us at 4:30pm on November 3 to give us instructions. She said were to report to the hospital at 2:30pm for surgery at 4pm and no food after 10am. I asked why she was scheduled so late considering her young age to which the nurse replied that there were four babies 6 months or younger ahead of Emma--she was one of the "older" ones. Incredible. But at least now we knew what we could expect. Or so we thought.

The day of surgery began pretty normally, with Emma allowed to eat a light breakfast of a bowl of cheerios and a slice of toast. We left Bloomington for Indy soon after that without either parent having a chance to actually get a bite to eat ourselves. Not good. Chris and I were determined to not eat lunch until after she went in for surgery. I mean, how could we eat knowing she was hungry. We arrived in Indy and checked into our hotel The Crowne Plaza, which Chris had Hotwired the night before for a really good price. After settling in, we left for the hospital. Emma was really sad that she wouldn't get to stay in the nice hotel. We reported to the Main Day Surgery area at 2:30pm after leaving Nanny and Charlotte in the surgery waiting area. The first words out of the nurse's mouth were, "She's carrying a sippy." Apparently, we were supposed to cut off any liquids three hours before surgery, but the nurse who gave me instructions the night before had said nothing about limiting liquids. I was really upset because this could mean pushing Emma's surgery back to make sure they met the 3 hour span. She was already so hungry; I couldn't imagine her waiting longer. Little did I know how long she would actually have to wait.

Everything was going pretty smoothly besides the water thing. They put us in a little room with two chairs, some equipment, and a TV.They checked Emma's vitals and put her in a little pair of scrubs. We asked if Lori was on duty. Lori's sister is a friend of ours and had given me her name. She came to meet us and also gave us the bad news that the OR was backed up. It was looking like Emma might not go back until 6:30pm. Ughh! Emma had become obsessed with a DVD the hospital had sent called, "Getting Ready for Your Operation" and was watching it when Lori came by. She asked Emma if she'd like to meet one of the stars of the video. A few minutes later another nurse came by who played the mother in the video. She confirmed that we were probably going to have to wait until 6:30pm at the earliest because of a complication the surgeons had run into with another patient. She said that we could get a pager, though, so that we could leave the little cubby they'd put us in. So, that's what we did.

Elissa and Charlotte helping keep Emma's mind off being hungry

We went to find Nanny and Charlotte in the waiting room. We also found our pastor, Tim Bayly, who'd come to be with us and our friends, the Chasteens, who'd also driven up. All of them had arrived in time for the 4pm surgery. I felt really bad that they'd come all this way and we were delayed. Tim offered to stay with Mom and the girls so Chris and I could get something to eat. Chris thought we should probably eat so that our heads would be clear if any decisions needed to be made. It was really awful to eat, knowing that my daughter was hungry and unable to have anything. Soon, though, we were paged back to the surgery area. We were very hopeful that this meant she was going back for surgery. Unfortunately, it was merely the anesthesiologist's assistant who needed to talk to us about what would happen before, during, and after the surgery. We were very disappointed. While we were there, however, I received a call from the Ronald McDonald House that we had a room. Great! Except that we'd already booked a non-refundable room through Hotwire AND checked in already. No problem. Tim said he'd take care of everything. He got on the phone with the hotel, with Hotwire, and with the insurance company that I'd bought travel insurance from. He was able to get our things out of the hotel and moved to the RMH without our lifting one finger. What a blessing! We would have to file a claim with the insurance to get our money back. While Tim was working behind the scenes, we were impatiently waiting for Emma's surgery to even begin. Finally, around 7:30pm we were paged. It was time.


Dr. Rink came to talk to us about what would happen and the anesthesiologist gave Emma "goofy juice." Imagine giving your 3-year old a shot of vodka. Her speech slowed, she got limp, and she got funny. One of the things she said was, "Are you my mommy?" "Yes," I assured her, "I'm your mommy and I love you." She asked Chris, "Am I wearing panties?" She'd realized that her panties had been removed way back in the beginning of our day at Riley when she'd put her mini-scrubs on. We laughed. She laughed. Tim and another dear friend, Amanda, came back to see us and pray with us. When the nurses came to get Emma from us, she was completely unaware that her worst fear, leaving without Mommy and Daddy, was being realized. We stood and Tim took a moment to pray over Emma. And then, she peed...all over me...a lot. Poor baby, that was why she was concerned about her panties. She had no idea she'd done it--she would have been mortified. The nurse gave me a towel to wrap her up in and I layed her in the little wagon all wet. She had her princess pillow and Little Bear. The nurse pulled her away from us and I melted. What we'd been waiting all day for had finally happened and I wanted it back. I wanted a few more minutes with her to tell her I love her and kiss her one more time.

Amanda literally gave me the sweater off her back so I didn't have to wait for hours in a urine soaked shirt. She hugged me and cried with me. It meant so much to us to have mom and friends (6 adults and 8 kids) with us while we waited. And waiting is what we did. For hours. At 9pm, the OR called to say they'd just started the surgery. What? She'd been back there since 8pm. That means we still have 2 or 3 more hours to wait. At 11:30pm, the surgeons came to tell us all had gone well and Emma was recovering nicely. Our friends with all of their tired children (Charlotte was the only little one who'd managed to fall asleep in the waiting area) left to drive back to Bloomington. We still had to wait until recovery called to say we could come to Emma. They finally called and I could hear my sweet girl crying. Awful. We literally ran to her side.

She was the absolute last child left in the recovery room. The nurse said I could hold her, so I eased her into my lap, careful to not disturb her IV, catheter, and monitors. She was pretty upset and in considerable pain. I was able to hold her all the way to her room, and they let me get into bed with her when she refused to be separated from me. Chris left to let Mom know we were settled and to help her get to the RMH. He came back a little while later to let me know they were just going to sleep in the waiting room since Charlotte was sleeping soundly in her stroller and they weren't really sure where the house was. Emma slept fitfully in my arms. The spinal block that was supposed to give her good relief didn't seem to have worked very well. I slept little. Early the next morning Chris returned, so I could go to Mom and nurse Charlotte.

I took them to the Ronald McDonald House. It was so nice. Just a couple of blocks from the hospital, a Select Comfort bed, and a semi-private bath. It had a nice play area for Charlotte and felt like a home. We are so grateful to everyone there who made it possible for Mom and Charlotte to have a nice place to stay. I wasn't gone long before Chris called to say Emma was really upset and needed me. I hurried back to her side and spent a long day trying to keep her comfortable. The main priority of the staff at Riley is to keep the children as comfortable as possible and they did a great job. We were sharing a room with a little girl a few years older than Emma who was going home that day. It was comforting to see how well she was doing. The mom said, "Every day gets a little better." We were ready for tomorrow. Late in the day, Emma felt well enough to ride in the wagon to see Charlotte downstairs. Everything was going well, until her nose started to bleed. She went hysterical. We rushed back to her room. Blood everywhere. She had two more before we left the hospital. Not fun.

Still puffy but able to play with Charlotte in the Child Life Room on her floor

The next day was better and we were allowed to leave. The week to come was really rough. Emma had bladder spasms that caused her to scream and writhe in pain. She had to potty every five minutes. Sometimes, she'd need to go again while we were still washing our hands. She wanted to know why she hurt so badly. She asked us to pray for her. All we could do was cry out to God. I prayed to bear the pain myself. It was the worst experience in my life to witness my daughter's pain and to be unable to do a thing about it. We felt utterly helpless but not alone. We knew that God had also watched a child suffer; and though He was not helpless, He chose to allow the suffering for our sake. There is a purpose for suffering. It shows us a glimpse of how much our Lord loves us. Emma will also be able to empathize with others who suffer and can offer them hope. I thank God for bringing us through the surgery and recovery, for all the friends who visited, prayed, and cooked us food, for my mom being able to be here, and for the opportunity to trust God with a most precious child.

Enjoying time with Nanny

Postscript: We met with the urologist on December 12 and everything looks good. Her follow-up kidney ultrasound was normal and she's healed nicely. Unfortunately, we discovered Emma has a UTI on December 20, after she started running a high fever and complaining of pain when going to the potty. We're not sure what it means. Is it because of the trauma of the recent surgery or does it mean the surgery was not successful? I'll be calling the urologist on Monday.

Winnie the Pooh and Piglet: Best Friends!

The girls had a great Halloween this year as Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. We found Emma's Pooh costume at a thrift sale last year and decided Charlotte had to be Piglet since they are best friends. Emma took in quite a haul, trick-or-treating not once, not twice, but three times.

First, we went to New Unionville Baptist Church's annual Trunk-n-Treat, where nice parishioners pass out candy from the trunks of their cars or tables in the fellowship hall if the weather's bad. They serve supper and welcome visitors so this is the third year we've taken Emma. This year we went with our dear friends the Lehrs and Chasteens.

The next day we went to the Indianapolis Zoo's Boo Zoo, where the girls had great fun. Emma jumped in the bouncy castle and bowled with pumkins, and we all wandered through a spooky maze. Pooh and Piglet got lots of attention!

Then, a few days later we went "Huckie Treat'n" (as Emma says) with the Chasteens on Greek row. Frat boys and sorority girls dressed up and handed out candy in abundance. We even met up with Pooh and Piglet's friend, Eyeore.

And, Halloween wouldn't be Halloween at our house without pumpkin carving. Chris always does a great job with Emma's assistance. Charlotte got into the action this year, while I documented the fun.

Good-bye free dial-up...Hello high speed internet

I just got off the phone with my dear friend and former Baylor roomie, Janet, who encouraged me to join the land of bloggers now that we've said good-bye to our interminably slow dial-up and decided to actually pay for high speed internet. So, in an effort to keep friends and family up on the happenings of our life in Indiana, I've started this blog. I hope it won't disappoint.